Diamonds and Rust

I listened to Joan Baez speak at the 92nd Street Y (2007) and really enjoyed it. She has a song titled, Diamonds and Rust that she played on the broadcast and I immediately had a very strong reaction to it. It filled me with such sadness. Almost odd. I called my mom to ask if she used to play it when I was a little girl. She said she did...along with many other songs. My father is also a huge Joan fan. He emailed me about his favorite albums of hers. I downloaded some of her music and have been listening. Every time Diamonds and Rust comes on I want to cry. I wonder what that's about?? Here are the lyrics;

I'll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you happened to call
And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin's eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest
Ten years ago
I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms
And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid 

I think I understand songs about memories and old friends more now. I have my own memories of friends and cities and feelings felt earlier in life. To reflect on different times of ones life is so powerful. In my 20s I was creating these memories...to listen to music then was so different. Now, even only at 36, I feel a history of experience. I have felt more ups and downs. I've left friends and lovers and have grown into myself more. The depth of emotion brought upon by music is a gift.  Everything seems richer now. I think it's just the maturing process.

I spent the weekend watching 9/11 documentaries and specials. 10 years later it has such a different effect on me. I was a month into living in Chicago and was still adjusting when it happened. Living in a big city was overwhelming. I was with my friend Amanda...we were two Kansas girls alone in the big city and I think it was hard to really absorb what was happening. To watch the broadcast now...it's a new experience. I sat and cried. Now being a wife and mother...it takes on another meaning to me. Life continues to mold me. My experiences continue to alter my sense of reality and understanding. It's amazing, really. It is true...the more you know, the more you realize how little you know.

Our friend Chris Spiek visited us last night. He was in town from Chicago. He was one of the first guys I became friends with after I moved to Chicago. My friend Jeremy introduced us. Jeremy and I were in our honeymoon stage of our friendship and spent our time singing, laughing and cuddling. They were roommates. Chris introduced me to John Mayer's music after he'd come home from his concert at the House of Blues. I sat talking to these very open hearted men and felt..."yes, I found the right type of people." Both loved music and could really speak about their feelings. I told Chris this last night. He really appreciated knowing. He's now married with a little one and doing well...still in Chicago. It's great to reconnect with old friends.

When you get a chance. Listen to Diamonds and Rust. See if it has an effect on you. My favorite lines are the opening lines "Well I'll be damned here comes your ghost again"  and these--- "Now I see you standing with brown leaves falling around and snow in your hair. Now you're smiling out the window of that crummy hotel over Washington Square..."