Dark Days

Times are hard. Times are good. It's ALWAYS the best of times and the worst. I've been lucky to look at life mostly as an adventure...with exception of my darkest days of depression. Those days I hope are over. My life is good and the daily struggles are mine, alone. I hear the hollowness of others at this time. The dark days cause so many to dip down into dreariness. It can be lonely. It can be overwhelming. It can be damned annoying hearing how someone else is doing well. I understand that. Misery does love company. In my darkness, I always knew the next day would be better. How could it be any worse??

It could be that my dark 20s set me up for a good vantage point for the rest of my life--in comparison, life is good. I'll take it. I look back in horror so many times at my poor decision making and my life of self pity and selfishness. I should be thankful for the reality check of what life could be. I don't struggle to pay my bills like I used to. I don't have continuous struggles and heartbreak with my relationship. I don't have bad hair.

However, many are struggling. Many are lonely. Many feel alone and that they have no help. I hate that. I wish I could help. I wish there was something magical I could do to make someone see some brightness. When you are in the dark...it seems as if it will always be dark. I'm here to tell you it won't be. Autumn is my favorite season, but it used to be my least favorite. It was a time of fear. I feared the long dark days and my inner demons coming out to play. I feared the holidays and having to deal with others. I feared my depression taking me over. I remember those times. I'm here for you if you need me. I've been through it. I'll listen or be a destination for you to retreat to.