pity parties suck.

It's a rainy Friday. Rain that will bring the leaves down faster, unfortunately. My MIL is coming with Jason's sister. They should be here in 3 hours. It's hard to be around people when you are going through something difficult. You tend to want to be around people that feel the same way you do. Some friends shine through--crying with you...sending you messages of encouragement. I appreciate that. It's been a week. I'm not sure how long to feel this way. I understand there isn't a time limit...but I also know I don't want to be gray for too long. Z needs me to be sunshiny. I also want to be strong for Melissa and Paige--not someone they feel also needs comfort. I'm thinking about baking a pie or two. I've been thinking about it, but haven't had the energy yet. Yesterday I slept around in a good denial phase. When I don't want to deal, I sleep. I think I slept through college.

I need to start reading Frankenstein. My friend Jeremy emailed me he finished it. Yikes. We are suppose to discuss it...and Sleepy Hollow. I normally do my "reading" at the gym. But, this week, I haven't been going much. I want to feel better. I want this to be over. I wish it had never happened. I don't like feeling down--it makes me feel weak...it makes me feel like I used to. I'm giving myself a few more days and then I've got to pull myself out of it. The damn sky is dark today. Soon, the trees will be bare. I've got to start feeling better before that happens.