Holiday Jeers

Christmas is Sunday. Have I bought a single gift? No. Do I feel like it's even close? No. Yet, I have the holiday stress...my chest is caving in (most likely due to no presents being bought) and I feel sad that I'm not more lit from the inside. I've been vacuuming until the panic subsides. Vacuuming is actually a great stress reliever for me. Odd? It's productive and it's shows an immediate result. I think I just need to take a deep breath, drink some eggnog, put on some happy music and start a gift list. Should I have done this 2 weeks ago? Possibly. Yet, I didn't and there must be a reason. Z is still pretty unaware of gifts and such. We're not getting her anything...her grandparents and aunties will get her enough. We already have to sort through old stuff for Good Will as it is. She is fortunate. We are fortunate. The stress of getting the perfect gift is what really puts me off, I think. I want someone to really appreciate it or need it. As adults, we normally get what we need, right? So, what do I give? Food. Why not? Makes people happy. It doesn't add to their pile of gifts they've already forgotten about and it's not something they'd get for themselves. When I was a kid, presents were what the holiday was about. As an adult, the presents just aren't it for me. Spending time together, cooking, baking, relaxing, playing games, reflecting, decompressing and doing some self evaluating. I didn't mention the obvious, Jesus. To me, the birthday of Jesus represents the birth of a great example of how man should be. He is the goodness and happiness that surrounds the holiday. We aren't religious and we don't go to church, but I understand what the holiday is about...at least how it rings true for me. I wish it were a time when we focused on bettering ourselves and being kinder to one another. The presents and stress of all of the materialistic crap really puts a damper on things. It seems to be a time of year that amplifies family hurts and woes.

Obviously, I need to do more vacuuming today.