Bad Religion and Bad Friends.

So, yesterday I was paralyzed at the thought of coming up with a scene and monologue for class. I became tired--naps are my natural escape. It's very Scarlett O'Hara (I'll think about that tomorrow)--but today I have them down. The monologue will deal with a friendship that needs to be cut loose. Or, I at least need to take a step back from them.  My realization comes after a phone call in which I feel worse after than before--and I was already coming from a very low place. I was calling for solace and found none. I really feel that many deal with this issue. We have friends that are toxic to us. They don't mean to be--but they drain your energy and you have nothing left after talking with them. They are so self absorbed that you've become a sounding board for them, not a friend. Friends listen and respond. They acknowledge you and validate you. We somehow become unpaid therapist.

The two page scene is derived from a conversation I had with Jason after we were told we were not allowed to stay at his parents' home together because we were not married. (We'd stayed there before when were "just friends") It deals with his frustration about religion and my irritation at the fact that we were seen as a "bad influence" on their teenage son. (The same son that we knew was already having sex and doing drugs, but they didn't know that yet.) ----This is no longer the case. This was over 5 years ago, but the scene is a good one.

So, my planning is done. That's a relief. I came up early this morning with Z and as she watched cartoons, I brainstormed. It was a good morning for both of us. I created a mini fortress and we both sat it in and did our thing.

I'm hoping to get the playwriting rhythm down first and then tackle the stories I really want to tackle. Until then, I don't feel that I have the skill set to show them the respect they deserve. My mom is jumping right in though--right into the issues she needs to deal with. She's more seasoned though...and is a natural writer. She and my sister are naturally good at everything--I have to work at everything...for years.