I will get through this. I will.

The week is getting me. It seems to be winning. I did get to the gym today. Ha! It's only Tuesday and I'm writing this. Dustin comes on Thursday. Though, I thought he was coming Wednesday and that set me up for disappointment. Only because I had it all in my head and then I had to rewire it. I need to get better at letting things happen as they happen. I grow impatient if I don't have a plan for the day. (Who am I???) The old me would be better at just relaxing about it all. Is this a mom thing? Maybe a mom of a young child thing? You feel you have to talk  yourself into the day---"I'm going to have enough energy to outlast you today...I'm going to have some gas left in the tank after you go to bed." Most times...it's only just a little. I have only one. I spend my day thinking..."How are my friends doing this?"

I need to finalize my play and get it handed in. It's all written in my head--just need a lot of typing. It's funny for a first jab. It works for me. I'm not disappointed--though it does have me rethinking if playwriting is for me or not. It is difficult. Wow.

I keep thinking about Whitney Houston. Mom and I have been watching tv shows about her and reading articles. I think we're just shocked at how her life spiraled out of control and no one could help. It makes you realize just how making the right decisions about getting into drugs (or getting out of them) and what friends you surround yourself with can really affect your life. She had some wonderful people in her corner. I hate to blame Bobby Brown, but he certainly didn't help. All in all, she seemed to have horrible self esteem issues. Another lesson--we see a beautiful, talented woman with the world at her fingertips. That's not what she saw.

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."

yep.