Blue glow

Again, drip...drip...drip. The clouds are back. The rain is back. I'm keeping my lights on all day just to keep it glowing indoors. We have a babysitter tonight!! Dinner and a movie--Hugo 3D. I think we'll just do PF Changs because it's good and it's right there. Just to eat out is nice! We need it. This week hasn't been the best. Our moods are bad. We haven't been poster children for marriage as we struggle through our week annoyed and full of anxiety. So, maybe a date night will help. Let's be serious...the alcoholic drinks will help.

We travel to Cleveland tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving with J's mom and to celebrate Z's 2nd birthday. I'll sit back and let her be spoiled and just relax about it. (This is what I'm telling myself.) Being in charge all week makes it hard for me to let go. But, this is what is what I wanted...for her to have the grandparent experience of complete adoration and spoiling. I just need to sit and smile and be happy for her....as I think, "Now there is just more stuff to put away..." (Bah Humbug.) I suck.

NYC is coming...soon...focus....I'm almost there....

Here's a nice depressing winter poem I found.

(Written by BadKarAyoke)

Lonely Winter

To my left..
Two empty chairs
Dirty laundry, blue lights
And bottles of prescription pills

To my right..
A shiny new machine
One cigar, helicopters
And a bookshelf of broken dreams

I sit in the middle of my fluid environment
While melodies fill the air

I look straight ahead to find no one there

The cold air sinks in and
I shiver reaching for my cup of hot tea

The warmth flows internally as I remain
Frozen to the world before me


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Laugh with someone tonight and break the cycle of blahness.