Blue Nights

I started a new book, Blue Nights by Joan Didion. It's a memoir about a woman mourning the loss of her daughter. It's beautifully written. The triggers of memory...the questioning of her own mothering...it's something so relatable. Her thought processes are understandable. I think there is so much to learn through loss--it is easier to read about it or to hear about it...instead of going through it yourself. Nothing can prepare us for such grief. I know this. I picked the book to read in order to learn how maybe I could see things differently in my own life. I learn through others' experiences the best. I've always been slow to learn how to go about life. I always look for direction. Death is such a part of life--but I struggle with how to cope with it. I struggle with how to comfort others. The more I learn about the lives of others, the more I learn about myself. I feel as if I'm somehow arming myself for things to come. The shock of such loss seems to put chinks in my armor. I know it won't work. I know I won't feel any more prepared...but I'll have some type of comfort knowing how someone else found their way.

I highly recommend it.