Today is a better day. My back is feeling tender, but so much stronger than it has been. I've been taking advantage and have been very productive. I can move! Been cleaning and organizing. Been sending emails to friends, catching up on IMs. I'm coming back into the world. Pain has a way of making you retract. I just want to find a rock and hide until I feel better. I moved the rock today, but I wish the sun had come out as well. I need to get to the gym at least once this week.
I'm listening to Joni Mitchell. I dig her. She fits the mood I'm in. Hopeful. Her voice reminds me of home, too. Kansas. Not sure why. I get homesick sometimes. Not to be in St. John really...to be back in time, I suppose. I want to be in my St. John...the one that existed in the 90s. I want to see friends I haven't seen in a while. I all want us to be young. I want our parents to be alive. I want our grandparents to be alive. I want to know what I know now though. I want to wiser with my time and with others' feelings. I want to be more focused on school and friendships. Everyone probably feels these things. It is a total waste of time. I know this. I look backward a lot. I miss things. It's not that I'm not happy now. I am. Just miss people. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss someone who has died.
I have a strong feeling I'll see them again. I just really hope I am right.
No comments:
Post a Comment