starting over

I'm trying to get back on track. I went to the gym yesterday and it felt good to go. I barely broke a sweat, but I'm getting there. I get so into my book that I slow down. (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) I'm swept up in it. I love it. It's great to be listening/reading books again. I'd stopped. I feel like I'm ready to start getting back to life again. Z is back on a schedule. I am getting mine back as well. After Bill died, it just seemed pointless. Everything. It was such a shock to the system. But after swinging pretty low--I realize I have to pick up and go on. I have that option. Melissa doesn't. Her house is quiet when Paige is gone and it's not like anything will ever be the same for her again. I feel that if I don't start getting back into normalcy again, it will bleed onto Z and I don't want that. I was sluggish and always tired...blue. I will say that going back to the gym has helped with the sluggishness already. It's such a mental struggle to get from my door to the gym's door...but once I'm there, I'm golden.

Reading this book is also so good for me. It deals with loss and also with finding your way again. I've been so into the autobiographies--I needed an escape. I suppose this is historical fiction. It deals with 9/11 and the loss of his father. His way of thinking really challenges my way of thinking. I need that.

I've been looking into a Sedona, AZ get away. Maybe I could get some women to go with me. It's just a weekend retreat--3 days of spiritual rejuvenation. I just need something. Ideally, I'd love to have an Eat, Pray, Love year (minus the new love interest)--but that's not going to happen.
This is what I found, but maybe there is something else better...
Sedona Retreat

When I think of complete bliss--restoring my inner peace--I think of a trip to Morocco. Just riding a camel deep into the desert and spending the night amongst the nothingness. Until then, I'll just keep going to the gym.