Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining. There is no wind. It's not freezing. It's days like these where you wonder why there seems to be a slight pulling in your gut--downward. I am taking deep breaths and I'm going to drag myself to the gym to see if that works. Everyone goes through ups and downs. I feel like I'm just more attune to it. It's light a warning light came on. "Check everything...make sure you fix it before you break down." Right. Sometimes I ignore warning lights--but then you end up with a flat tire or you no longer have oil in the car. When in times of a slight downward spiral--check your gauges: exercise, write something down, listening to something happy, stand in the sun, (pray if you are so inclined) or do something completely out of your regimen.
Damn you. Go away.
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update:
about two hours later. Well, the gym did help. My earbuds broke as soon as I got there so I couldn't listen to my book. This could have sent me into an out of control fit, but it didn't. I worked out in silence. That was nice, too. I told Jason I'd like to go to the movies tonight, he seems to be cool with that. Think I'll go see The Descendants. I love to go alone to the movies. It's a good way to reset myself. That's odd, I know. My earliest memories are going to the movies--I feel very at home there. Am I escaping a bit? Yes. I don't care.
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