Friday, July 14, 2006

Passive Aggressive

I haven't really blogged much lately. Guess there's been too much going on. Or maybe there's too much to say...and I can't put it out there. I'm learning in my older age that I can't just say whatever what I'm thinking to whomever is around. I used to blast I just internalize and wonder. Some things are just frustrating and it's hard not to just shake your head constantly. Half the time, I'm thinking, WHA???? People are just crazy. I see such insanity everywhere. Here I am ranting...being one of the most insane people I know (I'd rather say, "in tune.") and I can't even REALLY write what I'm thinking. Case and point. If I were Woody Allen, I'd just write a movie about it. I'm at least old enough to have seen some real bizarre decisions people make...and wonder what the hell they are thinking. I've always been bothered by hypocrites and liars. I've had my fair share of living in dream worlds and masking my issues. I've seen people really do a number on their lives just because they are afraid of the unknown. I've never taken life casually. Yes, I've tried to mold into someone else and I've tried to mold others into what I've wanted them to be, but I've always come to the same realization, "this doesn't work." I'm not one to settle. I'm also someone who probably goes overboard in believing that you can get everything you want.

I'm not making any sense right now...and I'm not coming to any sort of point. So, because I can't address anyone in particular, I'll just write out what I've been thinking over the past couple of months.

What the hell? Are you kidding me? you see what I'm seeing? Pay REALLY close attention...this is the rest of your life. What are you wearing? Do you realize how mean you are? What an unbelievable bitch you are. What a coward you are. Quit using her. Finally, you came to your senses. I think this might be a mistake. Grow up. I can see that 1950s marriages seem to having a come back. How sad. Were you looking for a certain type of reaction? I think it's a joke. Quit being a martyr. Stop lying to people you say you love--it's pathetic.

Ok, that makes me feel a bit better. Of course, I'll never tell who all I just addressed. If something speaks to you...Interesting.