Friday, January 13, 2006

very superstitous, writing's on the wall

Please say that you knew the title is a stevie wonder lyric...if not, please educate yourself.

So, today is Friday the 13th and I'm working my first temp job in a nice big building that is filled with beautiful condos right off of Lake Michigan. I'm not superstitious...but already today stupid things happened. My roommate, "J" had to drive all the way back to the apartment because he forgot my keys were in his coat. (He now has ruled that he is no longer to drive my car--a bit dramatic) So, that started his day off well. However, when battling Chicago traffic, time is of the essence and he was already going to be hit with the brutal 6:30 am back up. Then, on my way to this little job, I got lost. Yeah, by the way...HUGE difference between North Lincoln Park Ave. and North Lincoln Park Ave West. It seems that there would be but I got screwed by Mapquest. It was raining, I parked a state away, then my umbrella turned inside out, then I fell flat on the wet cement (I do that, I just fall for no apparent reason) and scraped up my hand and side--but I did find the place after all. It is MISERABLE outside! Yesterday was beautiful. I doubt that has anything to do with anything though. I am fearful that my car will be towed. City parking signs are written in invisible ink. You park and feel so much pride about actually finding a spot and then you try to find your car later just to realize that in the interim some city jackass decided that day to put up "street cleaning" signs all up and down the block. By that time, it's too late, you're either towed, booted or have a ticket that'll require monthly payments to pay off. (I wish the payment comment were a joke...)

All of that has really nothing to do with it being Friday the 13th, but I'm trying out a lighter blog today. Thought I just try to ramble on here. I'll update if anything at all spooky, cooky or just bad luck comes about. So far I haven't received more than 13 calls today. 3 hrs, 45 min to go.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

30, Flirty and....Unemployed.

I'll be 31 in less than a month. I'm not sure how flirty I am, and as for fabulous...that isn't something I've felt in a while. I'm unemployed in one of the largest cities in the U.S. I guess maybe that is better than small town America, but it still sucks. In Chicago it seems that your 30s is a thriving time. Most of my friends are doing very well. Work hard, get paid enough to play as hard as they want and are now starting to buy condos and settle down with their best play buddy. Hmm...I said most of my friends, in all actuality, all of my friends in Chicago are doing well. I, however, am alone, getting cabin fever, broke and trying to figure out what the hell I want to do. Being close to 31 and living somewhat like a college student is a bit depressing. I'm in a time warp. The girlfriends I grew up with are all married or engaged...with 2.5 children and have husbands that are either the best thing since sliced bread or are the biggest pain in the ass. I guess I should be thankful I don't have the latter. I'm starting to count down the days until I'm closer to 40 instead of 20 and it's horrible. I'll tell you what, not having to be somewhere for days on end is not good for the soul. I try to find places where I can create a need. I go overboard trying to help my roommate out with whatever he needs--he's appreciative, but to anyone else it could seem a tad bit "too available." That really isn't something that relates to our situation...thank god or I'd feel even more pathetic. The days are starting to pick up though. I've had interest in my resume lately...just got off of the phone with a lady just now. I have too many decisions. Do I work in the city or the burbs? What about living? Burbs? City? Should I go back into the horrible corporate rut or go back to school? I want to go back to school...but where do I find funding? Could I handle that financially? And when does the "settling down" aspect of my life come in? That's tricky. If I were 25, I don't suspect I'd worry too much about being in a relationship and just seeing where it goes. But realizing that my mother gave birth to me, her last child, at mind starts to wander. Uhh...I'm not a spring chicken. You don't want to mad dash a man to the alter. Dating should be fun. It should have its own pace. When I talk to my girlfriends who are my age and still single though, they all say the same thing, "I'm too old to be in a relationship that isn't going to end up in marriage at this point." Holy shit. How many women think this? And how many of these women are in bars? What would happen if these thoughts were displayed on t-shirts instead of "I'm a daddy's girl...wanna be my daddy?" I doubt men would have a positive reaction. So, here I sit: not a lot to do, waiting on job calls, wondering if my educational goals will pass me by, having my wife/mother/lover market value decrease daily and trying to seem as if I'm fine with all of these thoughts rolling around. On top of all of the other issues I have that I feel shouldn't be mentioned is...scary.
I do feel that 31 could be my year. It is the year to ACT instead of REACT. A friend of mine always says, "Do what you love and the money will follow." I hope to god she's right.
Now, which one was the "happiness" choice again??

Time to watch "When Harry Met Sally" AGAIN to make myself feel better. classic, CLASSIC lines in that movie. The scene where Sally finds out that her ex-boyfriend is getting married and her entire rant to Harry...yes, that is how it is. The clock starts to sound like Big Ben.

(perfect example)

Sally: And I'm going to be forty!"
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday.
Harry: In eight years!
Sally: But it's there, it's just sitting there like this big dead end. It's not the same
for men. Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was seventy-three.
Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.