Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wednesday is finding me a bit blank...

I've been a bad blogger. Time gets away from me. Settling into the new house has been fun, but very surreal. To walk around a house and know it's yours is an odd feeling. It's so big to us! The first night I didn't sleep well. I kept having visions of someone breaking in. Meryl love it...though she spends all night roaming and discovering new places to get into. She actually climbed a ladder into the loft. I keep wondering if she'd want a little friend...but I'll wait to see if the baby is allergic first.

We're getting the kitchen and office/den painted today. I can't wait to go home and see what it looks like. Jason has impressed me with his sense of color--it was his idea to accent a wall in the kitchen to a gorgeous blue color. He's all about color though, he can't stand white. Hopefully we like the colors...they were picked in a bit of a rush. We ended mixing some colors we felt were too "white"--so now I need to be creative as to how to use them. Man, paint is expensive!

I've become a boring home owner...I can't think of anything to write that would be interesting. I don't feel like ranting about "Birthers" at this point...or venting my frustrations about family--what's the point. I chalk a lot of my irritation up to the pregnancy.

Baby is doing well--I'm suppose to gain up to 11 lbs this month. I have about 80 days to go. I made it to the 3rd trimester...and am ready to meet her already. I have minor freak outs--thinking it's too much and I won't be able to do it...and that I'm scared of how my life is going to change forever. Then, I'll wake up and be ready to see her...and love her and I can't wait. It's odd. I signed J and I up for about 4 different classes at the hospital. Lots of information...he thrives on information. It will be good. We've been focusing on lots of other things and these classes will remind us that a baby is actually coming in December.

Fall has arrived. The trees are starting to get a bit painted, but we have a ways to go. I'm ready for glowing pumpkins and family coming around. I'm ready to decorate the house for each holiday!

I'm also ready for a nap. I will blame my insane lack of creativity on fatigue.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

passive aggressive.

A bit of a tangent, sorry. The frustrations of life get to me once in a while--and I'm frustrated. Frustrated with the country and it's pessimism...frustrated with (and in love with) my belly and how it keeps me from getting things done that I NEED TO GET DONE! Frustrated with being constantly worried about family and if people are upset or how they are feeling. We moved out here to get a new start...and to see new things...and for some reason, it has alienated us. We must seem as if we didn't want to be around family--no, although they do stress us out. Frustrated with the God struggle...the religion struggle...the judgemental shit. SO MANY things turn me off, I can't help it. I married someone who I can identify with...and who shares my ways of thinking--WOW that helps! We question the same things, we believe int he same things and we struggle with similar things. We show our struggles differently--that's hard. We are both manic in different ways--that's hard, too. I so want to fight his battles for him. He wants to walk away from them. He's a peace keeper. I'm the "let's DEAL with this!!" But, this is just another way of saying a lot without really saying anything. Damn.

more bitching later...because i'm in that stage right now. bitchy pregnant lady. happy to be pregnant, but man...REALLY raw emotionally!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Joe Wilson took Project Runway off of Bravo! I'm convinced.

I guess I unintentionally took time off from this. Didn't mean to...just got busy. Got the house...I love it! Also getting bigger--not liking that as much. I like the fact that she is growing and healthy, I don't like the fact that my nights are now spent tossing and turning and popping TUMS.

We have the house, but are not in it yet. We are slowly moving our lives over. It's a new beginning. I'm excited to have our home. I'm excited for us to have our little family. We are a rare breed of couple that agree on practically everything when it comes to decorating and how we want our house to look. I won't say that I have good taste...I will say that his taste matches mine and it seems to be good--or it's at least a good vision. We've also decided on a name for the girl. I'm happy about that, too! It's fun to call her by name. It's nice to have our little corner of the planet. It's beautiful here. It's peaceful. It's quiet, it's balanced and calm...and we are happy. These are all things I've searched for my entire life--esp in my 20s. I quiver at my 20s and the hell I put myself through...and those who dared to love me during that time. I wish I could send out either "thank you" or "I'm sorry" postcards to certain people. I just have to hope they will think of me partially fondly.

(I need to forgive myself for that time period...I talk about it too much.)

The most interesting people to me are those that struggled and rose from it all! I have a bit to go, but I feel much better about it all. Jason is a good reflection of my life. I like him. We have a good understanding of the other's life. We have similar backgrounds...and we have patience with things when the other does not.

I'm just rambling here. If I didn't write about this, I'm afraid I would've gone off about the political views flying in my office today that I'm completely annoyed with...and that would be such a negative blog.

In the meantime, this link is pretty funny!!