My Mother, My Self

Ever find that you think more about the relationship you have with your parents when you, yourself are a parent? I find that I obsess over it now. (Not that I didn't before, but in a different way.) I think about how our time was spent when I was a kid. How they talk on the phone with me. How they supported me in the past--or, didn't. Am I the only one? Do you not find yourself wondering about the transition into seeing your parents as people instead of just as your parents?

I'll be interested to see how Z and my relationship changes. Right now, we are very honest and supportive. Yes, she is 18 months, but...we're off to a good start. The frustrations of raising kids must distance parents--or rather maybe it's just that the self sacrifice is over. You think about how often you see them now. How often do they visit? How often do they say that they want to visit? You think about how many times they call to see how you are...or how your child is.

So many have children that shouldn't. That is evident. How many of us wouldn't be here if they had a "do over" or a time machine. I think about so many things I'd like to do and places I'd like to visit. I'm sure that in 30 years, I'll have those same thoughts and more. Is there a certain age you reach where you feel it's too late to do things and you just spend your time wishing you'd done it in the years before? Maybe wondering if it was all worth it?


I think about these things daily now. That can't be healthy.