I have a fear of flying. Well, I get anxious about becoming anxious when flying. My face feels like tiny pins are sticking it and I feel light headed. It's always about the time before take off. I have more to lose now if things don't work out. I'm so excited for my weekend away, yet miss my girls already. I could have cried taking Z to Doodle Bugs this morning. I didn't, she wouldn't understand. It seems like at times all I want is some time to myself--but in the hours leading up to it, it feels like my heart is so heavy. Is this an unhealthy attachment to my children? Maybe. Oh well. Deep breath. They will be fine.
That's another one of my issues--I feel like anyone out of my sight is in danger of not coming back. I have MAJOR separation anxiety. Except it goes further...I'm fearful. I'm terrified of any type of accident. I really need to be seen about it. My anxiety is out of control.
I am a fearful person. It doesn't seem to match me at times, but I feel it is true. I've done a lot of brave/stupid things...but mostly, I'm clueless when I'm doing it. I'm trying to put this part of myself aside so that the girls don't see it. My mom is fear based it seems. She worries over everything. I feel like that causes the child to have anxiety...and the cycle continues.
Woman up. Right? You're right. I need to. I'm going to. As soon as I get out of this fetal position.
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