Uninvited

Following him home without an invite, I got out of my car and walked up to him...he said nothing, he just held out his hand. I took it and we started to walk together. We stole moments far before we kissed. Everything led up to it...as soon as it happened, it seemed we passed "go." It was a brush fire, but created moments that I still measure others up against.

During "Lawrence of Arabia", I said I was warm...he reached over me to open the window. His shirt pulled from his pants showing his tight stomach. I slipped my hand under his shirt and touched him. He turned his head and fell into me.

Lying in his bed for the first time, after a night of talking, he told me that we shouldn't kiss...I looked at his face...kind. His voice, deep. His eyes took me in. I leaned in. That was it. From that moment on, we were together...I just didn't know it yet.

Drunk off of many, many screwdrivers...we all crowded around a table in the disco. The music blaring in our ears. I wanted to do something crazy...be someone else and show that I could be different from the girl he knew in Kansas. We were overseas...and somehow it gave me the feeling that I could do anything and it would be forgotten--I looked at my friend...and leaned over and slowly kissed her. He couldn't believe his eyes...I couldn't believe the fact that she kissed me back. Twice.

We talked for hours it seemed about how we shouldn't kiss. I wanted to. I think he did too. I don't think he ever would have taken advantage of the opportunity. I swung my leg around him and wrapped him between my thighes..."are you ready?" I bent down and put my lips to his...his hands immediately came to my hips. Butterflies fluttered violently and I could feel my head start to spin. His hands cradled my face...he was slow and soft. Not at all what I expected. I kept my eyes shut...pulled away from his face to see his reaction. Opening my eyes, I saw him...smiling. He kissed me again.

My heart was pounding as we walked through the parking garage towards his car. The conversation was still going round and round in my head. Did he say what I think he said? Was I imagining all of this? For months I'd denied my feelings...I was in love with two people. Did he just reciprocate my feelings? We finally got to his car. He stopped at the door. I had to know. I called his name. He turned and I didn't give him a chance to say a word, I kissed him. He kissed me back. "I shouldn't have done that..." I said. "Why?..." His question relieved me.

After the play, he and his friends took me to a bar in the neighborhood. I had crushed on him for weeks. We drank and laughed. He put his hand on my hip at one point. I just wanted it to stay there. We decided to go to his house...I sent his friends out to get a cab. "We'll be out in a minute." I turned to him, "Before we go, I just want to see what I'm in for. If this doesn't work, we won't waste our time flirting all evening..." He laughed. I pulled him in and kissed him. Least to say, it worked.

Stolen or clandestine kisses are exciting and fantastical...but I'd like to be invited...