Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Our first Noel...

I'm listening to Christmas music...streaming it at work to calm my nerves. Not that I'm upset, just need that extra bit of happiness to make it until 5pm. It's been slow and slow days make LONG DAYS. I've been a bit blue...but not sure why. I think I'm dreading Jason's trip. If he were going to be in the US, that'd be one thing, but SO FAR AWAY...ugh. I'll enjoy my time with friends, but will worry about him getting back. (I'm obsessing about this, aren't I.)

Christmas music gives me a false sense of security. I'll take it.

I hope I'm able to provide little Vidmar with memories that will take her through life. Hopefully she'll have many she can tap into when she needs to. I fully intend on making the holidays a big deal for her. I'd love for her to be surrounded by family and friends. I keep daydreaming about my house. That might be materialistic...but really...just thinking of the times we will create there. The feeling she'll have when she returns from college or with her own children. (Granted, we might not have the same house, but who knows.) That's another thing...people switch houses a lot now. My mom and dad have had their houses forever...and I have memories growing up there. It would be a different feeling if we didn't have those ties. Life is changing for our generation though. We all have to move to find jobs, etc...staying in one house for 40 years isn't as possible as it used to be. Maybe this is why we should focus on traditional meals--if the food is there...maybe the feeling will follow.

I'm rambling.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I am focused on the same thing recently. I REALLY want to stay in this house, forever, because it sounds so wonderful for the kids to come home to the same place with their own children... I don't have that with my parents, but when I go back to my grandma's house or the condo we have visited in Florida my entire life, I feel a strong sense of homecoming and peace.

Traditions are so important to me, too. My parents were both really into creating traditions for our family, probably because of their somewhat unstable childhoods. Jason and I haven't been as good about it because we've been so overwhelmed the last few years, but we really want that for the kids. It is so much fun, and so freeing, to craft your own holiday traditions. It helps you go from a couple to an actual new little family.

Selfishly, I am so excited you guys are having a baby, because I think you and I are a lot alike, and I think I'll learn a lot from your reflections on being a mother. I really appreciate the way you think about things.