Don't read!! There is a monster at the end of this blog!!!

I've been cooking all day. Tonight I'm repaying my friend Dan for cat sitting while we were gone. The menu: A new meatloaf I found that has shredded carrots and potatoes in it, potato salad, cherry coke jello salad, green salad, dutch apple pie and homemade ice cream. Lots of salad I realize. It should be good. It takes a long time to do all of that--it's surprising. Z has been up all day. She just now past out in our bed. I had to hum in her ear and have her believe nothing else was going to happen today. She just doesn't want to miss anything.

The days go too quickly. In my head, I am able to accomplish a lot. Realistically, it just doesn't happen. I wanted to paint the master bedroom and the back hallway while my mom can help me. We're just not finding the time. Time reminds me of a childhood book I used to read. It's a book where Grover (from Sesame Street) keeps trying to get you to NOT TURN THE PAGE!! He says there is a monster at the end of the book. He does everything he can, but we keep on turning the pages. We just can't help ourselves. That's how I feel--no matter how much I want to cram into a day, the day keeps ticking along and finally ends with me too exhausted to do most of it. I feel good about today. I made it to the grocery store and made my dinner and even made my first batch of homemade ice cream. But again, I'm making a list of my accomplishments as if they matter. I put a postcard of Walden Pond next to me on the desk. On the other side is Squam Lake (where On Golden Pond was filmed). They are meant to inspire me. Inspire me to do what? I'm not sure yet. The thing is, I've always wanted to have this "deep" life where I sit and think about things and write out my ideas and be all thought provoking and wow people with my intellect. Ha. it's just not like that. Life is full of daily tasks that rule you. I don't want to feel that I have to sweep, but I do. I don't want to feel that the laundry must be done, but it does. The best I can do is not watch crap t.v. I can try to fit in a few sentences of a book before I go to sleep. If I can finish 1 book this summer, I'll feel accomplished. I'm still working on A Reliable Wife. I got side tracked with Thoreau's diaries a bit.

One really cool thing I saw today. Right outside our front door is a bush where a mother robin has built her nest. 3 little blue speckled eggs are inside. I took great pics of it. I'll post them tomorrow. I'm hopeful for those 3 eggs. We had landscapers come and they trimmed right up to the nest, but didn't destroy it.

Let's hope the evening has some good conversation to go with the salads.