I want to RELAX

We leave on our New England journey tomorrow. I want to feel as if it's the last day of school, but I don't. I miss having those types of feelings. I think it's just too hard to relax at this stage in the game. Later, when she can entertain herself with friends or when I don't have to aid her in every endeavor, it will be easier. I love that she is attached to me. I love that she is happy and laughing and relaxed around me. I will miss this stage. At the same time, I'm ready to talk to her. I have such good conversations with my own mother...I can't wait for the same. I never went through the stage of hating my parents. That's probably because my mom was more of my pal and I was too concerned if my dad liked me at all.

We are headed to Bennington, VT first. This is an obvious choice. We'll see how many souvenirs I come back with from there. Then, on to Lake Placid, NY, Burlington, VT, Somewhere, NH, Boston, MA, Mystic, CT and then home. I plan on being completely exhausted and wanting space from everyone by the time I get home.

Vacations as a kid are things you just don't understand at the time. They are planned mostly for you. Your parents shell out big bucks in order to show you things and keep you entertained. You don't have to worry about whether they can afford it or if something was just a little too expensive or not. You don't have to worry about what shorts you can still fit into and look good. You aren't worried about laundry or if you are eating too much. It's just glorious fun. Of course, Z won't remember this one--and it wasn't planned with her in mind. It's more of a scouting trip for future summers. "Where can we get a rental house and just lie around all day and eat great meals in the evening??" That's at least what my goal is. Jason's goal is to see great places of history. After Waldon Pond and seeing the place where On Golden Pond was filmed, I'm just along for the ride. He and Mom and salivate over all of the Civil War crap and Plymouth Rock. I don't mean to sound as if I don't appreciate these things...I just want to have someone take my child for the day so I can sit on a Adirondack chair on the beach somewhere, read magazines, drink something fruity and alcoholic and come home with a slight sting of sun to zonk out in a big fluffy bed. I've seen too many summer get away movies. HA!! At this point, if a young 15 year old boy saw me from a far and thought I was hot--I'd be satisfied. (ok, that's for the Summer of '42 crowd...not that I'm a pedophile.)