Damn.

There are two couples of friends that took me in during two difficult times of trouble. The first couple, who I lived with in Cincinnati, now live in KC with their four children and are going strong. The other couple that I lived with in Chicago, I learned this past weekend, is getting divorced. I was in such shock in hearing the news that I've thought of little else since. Because I lived with them, I felt like a part of my family was breaking up. They took care of me in a lot of ways. They looked past a lot of crap and tried to help a friend. It's a permanent part of my history that they helped me and I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for either couple. It's not even that we talk often or that I see them often...it's just the fact that they were out there. Learning of a divorce now that I'm married feels differently than before. I've had two friends that have gone through it and are much better for it. It's just that this seems so sudden--of course I'm on the outside looking in. It reminded me of the movie, "The Four Seasons." You have a central couple that are a big part of a group of friends--and then they don't work out...it causes a ripple effect and everyone feels it. Everyone is shocked and saddened. Everyone has opinions and worries. They are a part of a bigger picture and selfishly, friends don't like when the picture is flawed. My first instinct is to ask every question possible--I want to understand everything. (As if I'm the only one affected.) The real life part of this is that neither party has the answers. They have feelings and questions and are hurting, too. Divorce affects everyone around you. Jason and I were just talking about the fact that we are still (and will always) deal with the repercussions of our parents' divorce. We still have to deal with holiday crap and how much time is spent. We have to deal with pictures around the house and make sure not one family is shown more than the other. We have to deal with the amount of time Z spends with each. It's a nightmare. And when friends separate--it's "who do we invite?" No one wants anyone to be uncomfortable. And everyone loves them both...and they just want it all to be the way it was. Ugh.
You start to look at your own marriage as well. You question the stability. You get scared thinking this is a possibility. Marriage is hard. It becomes more and more apparent that communication is the key.
I'm just more than bummed. I'm sad and mad and then sad again. There are no words to help either of them. It's just shitty and we'll all just have to be kind to both and hope life after will get better.

But for now...it just sucks.