I'm having a hard time relating to other moms. I feel that I'm a person who is also a mom, but I view other mothers as another breed of being for some reason. There's a club that I'm not invited to. They are all put together and I'm not. They are all teachers and not film students. This is my strange brain dealing with it. I want to be sunshiny. However, when confronted with other sunshiny people, I become dark and introverted. I can't meet friends being a mom. I'll meet friends in the book group...and MAYBE one of them will be a mom.
Why am I so fucked up about this? Who cares! Did Lisa Bonet go to mommy group outings? (I think of her...she seems cool to me.) Not that it isn't cool. I guess I feel that it's going to be mommies talking about being mommies. I want to talk as people and if our kids come up, great. Starting out a conversation dealing with babies because THAT is why we are there together seems forced and fake.
I'm just a freak.
3 comments:
I too have long been plagued by a feeling that I am a person who is also a mom, like I don't quite fit in with a lot of other mothers. That feeling has gotten less acute and uncomfortable over the last 8 years, by the way.
I've never been able to do the moms club or twins club things. I find the term "momtrepreneur" very insulting and would be so offended if someone referred to me in this way, but plenty of women refer to themselves this way. I don't get it.
However, after all these years of being surrounded by tiny people whose attention spans are shorter than a tv commercial, I have a very hard time starting a conversation with someone about anything other than kids. My brains have been addled. And after countless conversations interrupted countless times by requests for milk, head injuries, diaper changes, fights, etc., I suck at conversation. I find myself avoiding asking a question that will probably elicit a long answer, because it will be so rude when I have to cut the other person off because a kid needs me.
Finding friends I can relate to got much easier once Miss A started school, because I could start a conversation with a quick comment or question about kids, and then quickly move on to other stuff.
Wow, sorry about the super-long comment!!
I feel that way, too. I try not to bring Z up in conversation with my friends who don't have kids because I don't want to seem one dimensional. However, these days...I am. Damn. Well, at least it feels that way. I need to go read something deep and meaningful, I'll be back.
well, i do sometimes take comfort in most moms feeling the same way about that... in that, we all feel like the 'rest of them' have it all together and we don't . its one of the ways we/I keep myself isolated and stuck in the rut. eh. fun stuff. eventually the kids will be big and out of the house and then i'll have a complete breakdown, because i can't remember who i am, just like its the 70s... :)
Post a Comment