I keep trying to Twitter and I'm awful. I like to read others' posts, but what interesting thing would I really have to say? I post crap. It's ok. It's a good place to get news. Hell, I wouldn't know about Jen Aniston's new hair without it!
Dustin is coming on Thursday morning. YAY. He always visits when it's freezing out so we don't do much outdoors. There's a great Civil War exhibit at the Eastman House, so maybe we'll take a look. He might enjoy the Museum of Play as well. They have a great Butterfly room. I love seeing all of the butterflies and birds in there. You feel so chosen if they land on you. (They never land on me) There's one in the Smithsonian as well, but I hear this one is bigger. Huh.
Z is suffering with a runny nose--this means I suffer and that she hates me this week. Every time I try to wipe it, she screams. It's awful. I can't handle it running into her mouth.
I've been struggling to contact one of my girlfriends. She doesn't reach out. She doesn't return my calls or texts. She does have the flair for the dramatic...but it's starting to hurt my feelings. I actually dreamed about her last night. I have friend-rejection issues. I STILL have dreams about 7th grade...that's just sad. My friend Sarah and I met in college. She's a larger than life person. I just miss talking to her and am not sure what to do. Jason says, "It's time to let her go..." I don't do that well. Once I love someone, I love them.
The view outside the loft windows is the same: snow covered yards, clear streets and tons of deer tracks. I guess it's pretty, but the temps make it miserable. Z and I have cabin fever. I need to get out and go to Barnes to get Freedom. That's my book club pick for this month. It's a huge book...I need to get cracking.
Last night I thought about (or rather obsessed about) roads not taken. I asked Jason if he regretted his career track. He said no, but he does think about other avenues. I wish I'd been more clear headed in college. J's brother is going to spend a semester abroad in London. I always wanted to do that. I should have. I was needy and played the part of victim in college. I had lots of friends, but I'm not sure why. I wish I'd pursued the film avenue more. I think I'd be a great producer. I think I maybe could have done lots of interesting things...
This makes it sound as if I'm unhappy. I'm not. I got lucky. Great husband, great baby, great life. But...now it's Z's time. I'm here for her. Jason says he wants me to pursue whatever I want to do. He's back in school and doing well! (just got his first test back--an A--of course!) Maybe when Z is a little older, I'll take a course. Until then...I'll read more and discover new recipes.
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