Your body is a wonderland

I keep thinking about the Vain post I wrote yesterday. If I read that as a blog browser, I'd be annoyed. I couldn't sleep...again, thinking of WHY I'm so screwed up about this. I hate to place blame...because I'm an adult, however, I do feel that the comments my dad makes affect me. Just little comments about weight. He shouldn't affect my physical choices. For example, a few years ago I wore my hair curly. It's naturally curly and I was embracing it! He told me that he liked it better straight and I'm not sure I've had it curly since. Jason says he misses it. See, that's weird, right? My dad has commented on weight here and there and it makes me feel as if his love is conditional. It's not. I know this. However, it's the issues I have with men. (Gosh, let's count them.) Anyway, I'd love to be able to love my body no matter how it looks. I only feel this way about me. It doesn't even cross my mind with other women. In fact, I'm more put off by women that are too skinny--which to me looks gross. A woman's curves are so pretty to me. But, yes, when I see Jen Aniston in a bikini look the way she looks at the age she is...it makes me feel as if I need to look that way, too. Jason always says, "She's an actress...she works out a lot. Normal people can't spend hours working out every day." True. But, I can work on how I eat. I'm addicted to sugar. I've always been that way. I LOVE dessert.

This is boring me. I guess I just wanted to address the issues instead of just worrying if I'm really vain. Hmmm. All I can do is be conscious of what I eat and make sure exercise is a part of my weekly routine.

Now, excuse me while I drink my coffee drowning in French Vanilla creamer. Ridiculous.