Addict

All my life I've noticed my strongest addiction is to people. I find someone I adore and almost overdose on them. I would spend all my free time with certain friends, boyfriends, even my grandparents. I see things in them that I want to be. Many times I took on parts of their personality...an homage to them, I suppose, but I'm sure it was annoying. Now, I find myself in a Katharine Hepburn addiction. Although she past away many years ago, I'm just catching up to her. She's fascinating. She's strong. She's FIERCELY independent.  I write of her in present tense because I'm reading about her as if she's alive. She's such force. I love it. I'm learning so much from her--from books, clips on youtube and movies. I feel like I'm in a class. Today, I came across her quote, "Life is hard for everyone. That is why so many fall victim to it." She was not speaking of herself. She was never a victim and refused to play roles of one. She was always active--very athletic. She loved dinner parties and tried to have her week filled with guests. I'm the same way. I love having people over and love to spend time with friends. She often gave up rooms in her home to people she wanted to spend more time with--I would do this as well.

Since I played the victim role for many years, I'm very conscious of never feeling that way again. She's a great teacher. I find myself sitting in front of the computer endlessly searching everything about her. I always take my obsessions a bit far. Thank God I never started smoking.


Later---

I finished the book at the gym. I actually stopped peddling the bike and sat for a bit, tearing up. I've been watching a documentary she narrated, All About Me on Youtube and love it.

On a side note: I've just learned that Steve Jobs died. What an amazing mark he left on the world. Gone too young. Amazing mind.