I'm Blue

It seems that I continue to struggle with this damn anxiety feeling. It grips me and doesn't let go. Is it that I'm just made this way? Am I focusing too much on it? Though--I cleaned, baked and danced today, it didn't seem to matter. (Although I  made valentine's cookies with a delicious lemon glaze and they are so good.) I'm listening to music. I'm breathing in and out. It seems like I write more about this than I'd like. Is everyone like this? Is it a winter struggle? Is it the constant reminders of loss? Is it that I stay at home? Is it that I need something more to do? What is it?!!!

I don't want to feel this way. I want to be a happy person. I want to be someone is gets blue once in a while. But I seem to be a person who has phases of feeling blue weekly. It's not an all day thing...it lasts for hours and then subsides. Odd, right?

Mom just came up. She's short pages on her play--I  just talked her through her ending and gave her more of a resolution. She seems happy with the idea and is now off typing it up. Ah...if only life was so easy to rearrange and add whatever ending you wanted. For now I'm going to find comfort in the fact that many artists and writers struggle with the blues. This is giving me too much credit, but I'm going to hold on to it anyway--it gives me hope.

This song so reminds me of London with Lisa....ok, feeling a bit better.