Tuesday, August 07, 2012

everything you want to know about nothing...

Today is beautiful. I just sat outside getting some sun for about 45 minutes. Couldn't take much more--hot. It was enough to give me some Vit D and help my legs not look so preggo. I ran errands this morning after dropping Z at Doodle Bugs. She slept in her new "big girl" bed last night for the first time. After being up and down in the bunks, she finally settled in the bottom. Jason slept with her. I was already asleep in our bed. I have a couple more errands to do this afternoon. I just want to sit and watch part 2 of the Woody Allen documentary I started yesterday. I learned so much about his early years. He's worked with writing since he was a teenager. Wow. He's been paid for his work since 19. Impressive. I know he has his flaws, but I've always focused on his work and have been collecting his movies--starting with Annie Hall. I'm not much of a fan of his earlier work. It was inspiring...made me want to start this little writing class and start working on my craft again. I'm a late bloomer...but I have faith that I will eventually bloom. I feel it inside--but I haven't been able to fully nurture it for one reason or another. I'm still excited by the woman I can still become. I realize that now I'm more focused on raising my little women. That's ok. I just want to be someone they look up to and learn from. I want to be inspiring and encouraging.

The house is so quiet. I was thankful...and now I'm a bit lonely. I haven't quite adjusted to it yet. Mom will be back in October though, so that's not too long. I should relish the silence while I still have it. My belly is getting large. I feel so big. I've started having my breathing problems at night again. I wake up gasping for air. Seems like it's related to sleep apnea...but I'm not sure. It is scary and I feel like I'm choking and may not recover, but I always do. I panic. I always panic.

Okay, off to take mom's suitcase to UPS. They ran out of room for it. At least I get to go to Park Avenue--it's a cool part of the city. Then, maybe back for a short nap. (I've already taken one today.)

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