Not the best day. I'm doing a poor job of being mommy. I'm exhausted. My nights are short due to being uncomfortable and having horrible acid reflux. I'm finally able to go to sleep around 3. I'm exhausted and don't have much energy to do anything. Poor Z saw me finally burst into tears out of frustration and she started to cry, too. She's never seen me cry before. I felt awful.
She just came and asked me if I was crying because she was crying. (Well, yes) I said of course not. "I won't cry anymore, Mommy." I'm causing therapy bills for her before she's even 3. Poor thing. I'm only on #2--how do my friends have more children? I am in awe of them. I think of it all of the time. I'm not built for it. I know they have their bad days, too. I just feel as if I'm having a lot in a row right now. Please let it be the pregnancy and I will feel back to myself again after the baby is born.
I'm reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I love it. Charlie, the main character, has so many feelings that I used to have. He is so relatable. In 1991, the setting, the main focus for teens was still music and books. The internet played no part. Music affected him and he used it to communicate. I don't even really like the music of today. I sound so old. I just feel like we thought more. We talked more to each other. We felt more. We didn't create feelings and thoughts to post to seem cool. We just were what we were--mostly confused or in love or both. I recommend it if you were a teen in 1991. Even if you weren't...it's a great book. It's an easy read. It flows well. There is a movie, too. It's out in Brooklyn. Jeremy told me it was playing at BAM. I'd told him to read it. He will relate.
On the plus side...I did finally hear from my therapist. We have an appointment for next week to Skype. Whew.
No comments:
Post a Comment