The Friendship Connection

When I was young, my mom used to tell me, "If you get to the end of your life and you can count your true friends on one hand...you are lucky." I remember thinking to myself, "only one hand? but I have tons of friends!"
I ha
Now I get it.

Life shows you a lot about yourself. You put up with a lot when you are younger that you don't when you are older. I was naïve and hadn't had a lot of highs and lows...not a ton of empathy. I was sympathetic, but having not been in a lot of situations where I had first hand knowledge of love and loss...and tragedy...and how to comfort, I was clueless and came across as unfeeling. Knowing how to truly comfort someone in a time of loss or tragedy was something I had to learn. I am still learning. Some are born with that gift. I wish I had been. My friendships were solidified during my hard times. I was very trying. It was a trying time. True friendship is a commitment. I'm not saying to keep someone around who is toxic, but we all go through hard times and to stick with someone and see them through to the other side shows love. Love defines it all.

Moving away from everyone is an interesting test to friendships. I've done it a few times. Some reach out. Some don't. Some come see you. Some don't. Some can't. But there are those that when you finally catch up to each other, nothing has changed. It's not surface...we dive right in. I appreciate that. Even new friends that can dive into real conversations instead of small talk. I'm not good at it. But then you meet those who are not comfortable with anything more than surface...I start talking and they look at me as if I have another head. I used to feel insecure about it. Now, I just feel like exiting immediately. I don't have time for this. I almost get irritated. REALLY non judgmental of me. I just know that I'm not their time of person and this isn't going to work.

I find it harder and harder to find good friends. It's probably because I'm spoiled by the good friends I already have. I'm open to it, though. I've found 2-3 here since I've moved here. 3 in 5 years...not awful. It's better than nothing. And the friendships continue to grow. Different stages of life seem to bring about different friends...as others drift away. The drifting is hard for me. I have a hard time letting people go.

Cherish your friends. Try to keep in touch no matter what stage you are in. No matter what mood you are in...they are going through the same moods with ups and downs. We're all in this together. It's hard. It doesn't matter if you have kids and they don't. If you are married and they aren't. If you are 20 years younger or older...it's the connection. If you can find it, grab hold.

Another Day

Everyday she takes a morning bath she wets her hair
Wraps a towel around her as she's heading for the bedroom chair
It's just another day

Slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes
Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat
It's just another day

At the office where the papers grow she takes a break
Drinks another coffee and she finds it hard to stay awake
It's just another day
It's just another day
It's just another day

So sad, so sad, sometimes she feels so sad
Alone in her apartment she'd dwell
Till the man of her dreams comes to break the spell

Stay, don't stand around and he comes and he stays
But he leaves the next day, so sad
Sometimes she feels so sad

As she posts another letter to the sound of five
People gather 'round her and she finds it hard to stay alive
It's just another day
It's just another day
It's just another day

So sad, so sad, sometimes she feels so sad
Alone in her apartment she'd dwell
Till the man of her dreams comes to break the spell

Stay, don't stand around and he comes and he stays
But he leaves the next day, so sad
Sometimes she feels so sad

Everyday she takes a morning bath she wets her hair
Wraps a towel around her as she's heading for the bedroom chair
It's just another day

Slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes
Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat
It's just another day
It's just another day
It's just another day

Another Day--Paul McCartney

This song is in my head today. And I figure, if you haven't heard it, you should.I love the song..except for the line, "Til the man of her dreams comes to break the spell." uhh..not necessary. (but this was written by a man...)

Woody Allen. (if you even give a shit about it...here's how I feel.)

Okay, I'm just going to discuss this situation because it's bothering me. I hate the part of growing up when you witness a parent or an adult close to you do something and you think, "Shit...I thought you were perfect."

Here's the thing. I love Woody Allen movies post 1975. I'm not a fan of his earlier work. But his movies that deal with human relationships with all of their complexities and such have always interested me. His has a gift for dialogue and story. He gives women leading roles and started my love affair with Diane Keaton--albeit one sided.

I knew about his relationship with Mia's adopted daughter. I was 17 though...and I just moved past it. (I didn't really start getting interested in his work until about 20, I think.) Husbands and Wives was the first movie I thought...yeah...I like how this works. His movies have such insanely flawed and corrupt people. Some of his movies are bombs (for me). I'm not a fan of everything...but I grew to be a fan and collect his movies.

Now...here we go again. Dylan's open letter to the New York Times. I read. I was sickened by it. But part of me wondered...is this true? I am ashamed to doubt her. I am ashamed that it is so hard for me to knock him off of his pedestal. I feel awful for the entire ordeal. I searched the Internet to make myself feel better. "Someone write SOMETHING that makes his untrue!"

I found it here:'
Not So Fast...

Thank God, I felt. Okay...I have another reference point.

But I just keep thinking about it. I saw Rosie on The View and she said something along the lines of how awful it was for Dylan to go through what she did...and then to have the public doubt her...it was worse. My god. I know. Of course it would be.

I had a friend post on my Facebook page the open letter article and she stated that she would NEVER watch another Woody Allen movie.

(big sigh here.)

Here is another article that says, Let's turn a blind eye to this because it's really sucks to think about...

It's none of our business!

Okay...as a mother...I would kill him. I really would. And I am split down the middle here. Part of the reason he may create such great stuff is probably because he is fucked up! Some of the greatest books, movies and poems come from REALLY messed up people. People you probably wouldn't want alone with your children.

So here it is...I love Woody Allen's movies. I love his gift. I am in awe of him. But...yes, there's a lot of things that are not adding up. This poor child--whether she is telling the truth or not--has been through HELL. Let's face it...she is wounded and scarred by what has happened to her. If Mia brainwashed her. If Woody assaulted her. She's a broken person and needs healing. I feel awful for her. There is a dark cloud over Woody now. I can't help it. I HATE IT.


But here's the worst part--and I am partly ashamed of it. I'm not going to stop loving his movies. As a film love and a lover of the written word--good scripts are so hard to come by. They just are. And the film maker who is really looking at human relationships--the light and the horribly dark of it all...and talented in portraying that is hard for me not to watch.

Damn. I'm just sorry about it all. Woody Allen now isn't just love now...it's love and hate. (and I don't even know if he did it...but I have two little girls and I'm tainted now.)