The Friendship Connection

When I was young, my mom used to tell me, "If you get to the end of your life and you can count your true friends on one hand...you are lucky." I remember thinking to myself, "only one hand? but I have tons of friends!"
I ha
Now I get it.

Life shows you a lot about yourself. You put up with a lot when you are younger that you don't when you are older. I was naïve and hadn't had a lot of highs and lows...not a ton of empathy. I was sympathetic, but having not been in a lot of situations where I had first hand knowledge of love and loss...and tragedy...and how to comfort, I was clueless and came across as unfeeling. Knowing how to truly comfort someone in a time of loss or tragedy was something I had to learn. I am still learning. Some are born with that gift. I wish I had been. My friendships were solidified during my hard times. I was very trying. It was a trying time. True friendship is a commitment. I'm not saying to keep someone around who is toxic, but we all go through hard times and to stick with someone and see them through to the other side shows love. Love defines it all.

Moving away from everyone is an interesting test to friendships. I've done it a few times. Some reach out. Some don't. Some come see you. Some don't. Some can't. But there are those that when you finally catch up to each other, nothing has changed. It's not surface...we dive right in. I appreciate that. Even new friends that can dive into real conversations instead of small talk. I'm not good at it. But then you meet those who are not comfortable with anything more than surface...I start talking and they look at me as if I have another head. I used to feel insecure about it. Now, I just feel like exiting immediately. I don't have time for this. I almost get irritated. REALLY non judgmental of me. I just know that I'm not their time of person and this isn't going to work.

I find it harder and harder to find good friends. It's probably because I'm spoiled by the good friends I already have. I'm open to it, though. I've found 2-3 here since I've moved here. 3 in 5 years...not awful. It's better than nothing. And the friendships continue to grow. Different stages of life seem to bring about different friends...as others drift away. The drifting is hard for me. I have a hard time letting people go.

Cherish your friends. Try to keep in touch no matter what stage you are in. No matter what mood you are in...they are going through the same moods with ups and downs. We're all in this together. It's hard. It doesn't matter if you have kids and they don't. If you are married and they aren't. If you are 20 years younger or older...it's the connection. If you can find it, grab hold.