Friday, January 13, 2017

Aging Daily...hourly...damn.

So, I haven't written a poem in a very long time. So, I'm nervous and critical...feeling insecure...and yeah, basically everything I normally feel every day. So I thought I'd write this to address it. Of course, I still don't tell people...because of the way I felt when the doctor told me I have it. Ashamed. 

Anger destroyed her day.
It makes her agitated and frustrated.
Anxiety doesn't have deadlines...
It comes and goes. It can stay for days
Absolutely deny having difficulties!
They will look at you differently.
All days have darkness.

-Life is hard, just deal!"
Always dealing...hours, days!

Temper flares, the tears roll
Acquire meds, Hide meds.  (changed that from didn't sound right.)
Because they will think you are faking.

-It's not real.
-You didn't have it as a kid.
-It's over-diagnosed.
-Too much t.v., huh?

Anxiety, dear....HURRY DEPART!
-It'll go away, just meditate.

Anger, darling... happy dance!
It's not working.

Absolute despair happens daily.
-Oh come on, really? It can't be that bad.

Argue. Defend. Help debunk...
But I am tired of keeping it a secret...
and taking meds in secret, so no one can see me.

-Why do you need so many?
-How can you have anxiety ALL day?
-Why can't you remember your coffee?
-Why are you taking everything so personally?

Act. Deceive. 
Heartbroken. Defeated.
Actively detaching...hourly, daily.
Aimless, directionless, helpless, delirious.

Thoughts darting here and there. 
The mind multi-tasking without pause.
We can doubt and over-share
Feeling anxious without cause.

Attention. Deficit. Hyper-activity. Disorder.
Educate yourself. Give us a safe place to land.
The only things we make up...
are excuses as to why you don't understand.

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