Plagued with comma splices, I apologize, really.

I started to blog tonight and then I erased all of it. It was depressing. OK, we know I don't have a job--no need to talk about it anymore. I did apply to a few jobs today, we'll see. I also went to the DMV and got a driver's license. In NY, they send it to you in the mail. I practiced my smile in the mirror on the way over (yes, I did...). Then I'm ready for the picture and FLASH--I was completely blinded. The lady showed me three pictures to choose from. (damn, I ended with a preposition.) The flash bulb botch was in the line of sight of my face, so I just chose the last one, it could be awful, I just couldn't tell you. I could see the flash for about 10 mins. I also registered to vote and donated my organs. (Jason's not thrilled with organ donation...he has movie-like situations in his head where they put me out to save 3 people.) I really felt for the lady helping me. She was really emotional because just before she served me, she'd waited on the grandson of a former employee who she'd worked with for 10 years. Her friend had died suddenly of a heart attack last year. She was very teary eyed and told me the whole story of how no one was allowed to take off for the funeral and how horrible she still felt about it. I just stood there and listened. She was obviously needing to talk about it. It's hard to lose someone suddenly. Her friend had passed away in 2000 and she still wasn't over it.

Tonight, I'm ashamed to admit I'm watching Real Housewives of Orange County. Jason loves this show. I literally almost become violent after watching it. The state of the world today...man, I could really go into this, but I can't. Jason likes guilty pleasures and who am I to talk? I'm hooked on Gossip Girl of all shows! It's not much different...just fiction. I usually dig the shows about high school or college. (well, I HATE The Hills...90210...One Tree Hill...) OK, I guess I only liked Dawson's, Felicity and now Gossip Girl. I'd need a little more therapy to really tap into my obsession with those shows. I'll just accept it for it is for now.

I have a young friend on Facebook and I find it so fun to look at the pics of her with all of her friends. They seem to be so fun and intelligent. I grew up in such a small town. Wow, we just really didn't have much to do. It makes me smile to see her having fun. She's grown up into such a beautiful girl...so smart and witty. I'm excited to know her when she turns 30, though I miss the times when she was small enough to sit on my lap. Just looking at her pictures reminds me of so many things. Is it a sign of age that I agree with the saying, "youth is wasted on the young"? George was on to something. I noticed new wrinkles under my eyes today, my hip reminded me it wasn't real and started to wonder about my taste in clothes. To top it all off, I lied about my weight on my license. I don't care.

OK, I'm rambling.

All the ladies in the house, I'm callin' out to ya...

I miss my girlfriends today. All of them. I think it's due to me watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants... Ok, so yeah, I have the time to watch random movies. I actually really enjoyed it! It was the sequel, so I was a bit clueless to the original storyline, but the relationships between the girls was enough to keep me entertained. I love women. I love how complicated they are...how they are with their friends...how wise and funny...and how strong they are. As I get older, the girls I've known since grade school/jr high (there are 5 of us that keep in touch) amaze me at the grace in which they're aging. We've all had such turmoil in our lives. Such hardships and such happiness they've all been through. We all struggle with the same things and rejoice in the same things. The greatest strengths in my life has come from knowing them. But not just them...women I've met throughout my life--St. John, Lawrence, Cincinnati, Chicago, Cleveland... I've surrounded myself with a very unique, strong and wise tribe. I've always found women more interesting for some reason. Not that I don't find men amazing as well, but few really blow me out of the water. (I married one that does.) I think it all started with growing up with my mom, her best friend and my sister. That was my network as a kid...they were my foundation. Lessons in love, friendship, ironing, cleaning, boys, self respect, sex, bravery and comedy all came from the women in my life. Women can be caddy...and we can be so much more judgemental of other women than with men. But when you come into contact with a strong girlfriend...one that won't let you get away with anything...one that will cuss out any guy who hurts you...one that will let you cry for days with her...one that makes you laugh through your tears--THAT is a treasure.

I'm emotional today ladies...love you all. I'd love to have a girl's weekend when we invite all of our girlfriends and they invite their girlfriends and we all meet and some resort together--finally meeting our friends' friends. What a great time that would be.

Enjoy each other...

I feel like I just watched Beaches.

Blonde Ambition

Well, I missed a day. I was busy getting blonde. I figure, the best way to have a good conversation is to go to get my hair done. I went down to a very cool part of Rochester-Park Ave- and chatted it up with Kim the hairdresser for about 2 hours. She talked me into getting my hair cut as well...why not! My inspiration was Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors. My hair pretty much resembles that. I wish other parts of me resembled her as well. Anyway, I mentioned that to Kim and she didn't know the movie. Hmmmm. I find that a lot. I watch too many movies I think. I talked to my friend Angie the other night and she asked me what I wanted to do...career wise. I'm not so much a career gal, but I suppose if I had to choose anything in the world...a movie critic would be at the top. So, as I was in the shower (I do most of my thinking there)--I thought, well, why not! I'll just blog my reviews (along with millions of other bloggers) and keep them for posterity! My future kids could read them if they wanted...or my friends could check there before they head to the theatre. Sounds good. Now, I just need to go see a movie! My friend Paul says that the new Bond wasn't spectacular. Besides, I need to wait for Jason. My netflix que right now is Oklahoma! -- with Hugh Jackman...I love him. He's amazing looking and amazingly talented. I'm a sucker for a dashing man who can sing. I'll try to watch that today...the other is...Miller's Crossing. I haven't seen it yet. I KNOW! It's a Coen brothers' movie from 1990. I'll comment on one of those.

This morning I was on line with a Kodak customer service person (chatting) trying to fix my camera. I think I'm going to have to buy a new chord for it. Shoot. I have all of these great pics and I can't get them onto my computer! I'm not a huge fan of the Kodak share software. Living in Rochester, that's probably a sin. (Home of Kodak)

Anyway, so after getting all blonde, I stopped in a cute little restaurant down the way, Cibon. I had a salad and a diet coke (with lime). I really liked the color of the walls in there. I found it funny that when I sat down, the waitress served me two waters with two sets of menus and then left me alone for 10 minutes. Finally she asked if I wanted a drink while I was waiting. Guess they don't get very many lone diners in there. I'm not sure if that was very interesting, but it was something I thought about all during lunch.

Well, more later...I'm off to Target I think. If I make it out of there with just a camera chord, it will be a miracle.

Kevin Smith lies around constantly...and he's creative!

I haven't stepped outside today. What does that say about me? I purposely don't lay on the couch...it scares me. I get up each morning and take a shower--I have big plans in my head that never pan out. It snowed last night. I don't like the cold. Tomorrow I'm going to Park Ave to become blond...just so I get to talk to people. Colorists have to talk to you, don't they? My first friend will be my colorist. I'm determined to write every day even if it's bullshit. Today...it's bullshit.

I'm now going to put on a coat and walk to the mailbox. I need fresh air. My cat Meryl is starting to look at me like I'm a loser...don't worry, if she starts telling me to kill people, I'll ignore her.

I wish my friends would've had digital cameras back in the day. We had to pack all cool picks into 24 exposures...a lot of crap pics. The Internet I'm afraid would've been a BAD idea for us. Kortney, Toni and I...lip syncing in front of a vhs camera...holy shit...we would've been YouTube'd for sure. The Madonna videos alone would've made us a sensation. But what I would've given for a damn flat iron!!

Restless in Rochester

It's been a month. A few days more actually--since we arrived. Jason is gone this week to Palm Springs for a conference. He reports it's beautiful there...mid 80s. It snowed here today. Big flakes. It didn't snow enough to blanket the ground and make it that awesome quiet outside...you know? Snowy quiet. I love that noise. I'm looking forward to seeing how Rochester celebrates the season. Halloween had skeletons sitting on bushes and big balloon spiders (which scared me) laying on lawns.

We're still adjusting. I'm not too lonely yet. Friends call me constantly and I joined Face Book...which I tried desperately to avoid. (Actually, it isn't bad!) I found myspace to be a bit scary though. It's nice to get back in touch with old friends. I found most of the girls I hung out with in my frosh dorm in college. It's causing a lot of memories to flood over me. I'm so happy to be older. My 30s have been much kinder than my 20s. I definitely have better hair!

I'm going to do my best to start writing again. I've been reading over my old stories in college...wondering where the writer went. Fearing my internal critic has kept me blocked. Fear is a big component in my life still. My fear of flying seems to have come back. It was gone for years and then suddenly this summer, I panicked on a plane. Ever since, even the thought of flying makes me light headed. Two nights ago I read an interview in Vogue with Angelina Jolie. She is my age. I should focus on that, but I do. She became a pilot and flies her own plane. She seems fearless! It's true...I don't fear flying, I fear, fear itself. I'm made a prisoner by my own anxiety. That's no way to live! I'm putting together an illustrated auto biography--things you can do when you're unemployed with no kids!!--and I'm going to cut out a picture of Angelina to remind me to be fearless!

Movie Notes: (random)
Loved Rachel Getting Married- saw it at Little Theatre in downtown Roc. Reminded me so much of Liberty Hall in Lawrence. It smelled the same. I'll be surprised if Ann doesn't get a nomination. I also went to see Changeling. Hmmm...very disturbing. I thought Ang was good, but she's been better. It was hard to watch. I wasn't expecting the violence...I'm fine with violence, just not dealing with children. I'm really wanting to see Happy Go Lucky. I'll report my findings...

more tomorrow.

Yes We Did!

Today, I'm in New York--having moved in October. There's so much newness to discover! I will say, that after last night's events, we are missing Chicago right now. What a great night to be there! I'm sure we would've gathered at the Imparato's and shared it with friends. I'm tired today and emotional...crying randomly at t.v. shows. I'm making chili, cleaning up Jason's office and enjoying the sunshine coming in from the windows. Meryl (our cat) is loving the sun too!

The fall colors are beginning to fade, but some are still hanging on! (This is a pic near the Erie Canal last Sunday.) Crew races were running along the water that day. Very cool. I can't wait until people visit. (Also can't wait to find a job!)

More to come...