Take this job and shove it.

Today I went in to work. Jason said he could watch Z for a bit, so I decided it would be a good idea to show my face. Before heading there, my boss said to make sure I came by to see him. Immediately I felt that something was off. I asked J how he'd feel if I didn't have a job and he told me he'd be fine with it. He said I was being paranoid.

So, I went in to D's office and he said, "Well, I have a suggestion for you. How would you like to be a business analyst for the DR Team?" (This means that India has finally lowered the boom and told him he can no longer have an assistant.) "India says that I can no longer have an Admin, but we can place you in DR." We talked for a while. He felt badly, I played it off that it was fine and that I completely understood--honestly, I really did. He created the position and I kept it for almost a year. He's been an amazing boss to me as well...I've been lucky. After meeting with the DR Manager...who was very accommodating to my being an at home mommy--I realized it would be a lot of work. Anxiety set in. I came home and discussed it with Jason. He told me that he didn't get anything done because Z screamed the entire time and that if I wanted to work, we'd have to get a nanny or put her into daycare. Shit. So...I'm quitting my job tomorrow. Jason was super supportive of anything I wanted to do, but I think being stressed out about the whole thing when I'm really getting paid squat isn't worth it. I have anxiety tonight thinking about not having a job. Well--a corporate job.

I will be busy still. I will now be fixing dinners...and doing lots of things I didn't have time to do before. I will be freaking out sometimes I'm sure about not talking to anyone during the day. It's official--we are alone out here. I was the only one who was meeting anyone and now...we'll be alone again.

Thank God for Angie's visit and Dustin's visit and my mom's visit--that's 3 weeks of visitors to keep me busy. Then what?

Will I go crazy?