Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Today we're having our room wallpapered and painted. The bathroom as well, but I'm looking more forward to the bedroom having some type of finish to it finally. We still don't have a nice bedroom set, but all in due time. Little by little....

I'm not sure if it's the medication or the anticipation of my family coming, but my mood has lifted. I've felt MUCH better than I have in months. My right hand is still stiff and hot, but my emotional health is enough to keep me balanced. Wendy and Mom are coming in on Sunday and I can't wait. I love visitors. They haven't seen Z in a few months so it will be fun for them to see how much she's grown. I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year, so J's family is also coming to down. We'll have 14 people here for 2 days. I'm thrilled. It's sort of a dream come true really. My favorite memories of childhood are when all of my family got together. It didn't happen after 1982, but I still remember the feeling. It'll be the first holiday my mom will have without her brother. I'm hoping the crowd will keep her mind off of it a bit. She is still suffering a lot. I'm sure it never goes away.

The day is cloudy and dark. My Japanese Maple looks dark red against it...but so calming in a way. It's been rainy and cold. Yet, I've been very well. I started back to the gym. I've gone almost every day and I feel so good about it. Z goes to Miss Marie's --the daycare--and does such a great job! She's so happy and independent. She doesn't seem to miss me at all when I'm gone. I'm actually happy for that. Missing people has controlled my life for a long time. I really don't like it. I was practically immobile in my early 20s because of the thought of leaving people. Of course, to remedy the situation and cure myself...I moved away from everyone to create my own space. I do feel good here. I've always felt that if I lived close to my friends and family, I would fall back into my codependent tendencies. I start to rely too much on them and become needy. Here, I can feel independent and they can come visit. It's more healthy for me.

Ok, now back to watching more about the Royal engagement. I'm oddly entranced by the whole story of Will and Kate. It's a fairy tale for some Americans. We don't have royalty here. I've always loved to learn about their life. Kings and Queens...it's all in stories I heard as a child. From a far...we create anything out of their experiences. It's almost like they aren't real to us.

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