Kansas

It's Friday. 4:30pm. The sun is starting to head West...and the sky is a light greyish blue that is starting to fade. I miss the sunsets in Kansas. I took them for granted growing up. The sky is bigger...with the farmlands stretching out to meet its ends. I grew up in a small town with only about 1,000 people. I graduated with 23 kids. I got lucky though. There were great people there. Thinking about how Z will grow up is so odd at times. I didn't have a mall down the street or really anything. Our streets didn't have lines...and we loved walking down the dirt roads. I didn't know I was really missing anything. I didn't have a cell phone or movies on demand. I had my friends and our connections. Even in HS, I didn't drink or try drugs. I kissed a lot and had lots of conversations walking the streets of my small town. We had to drive at least 30 minutes to get anywhere. Z has so much already. I relied on my connections to entertain me. I grew up with small town girls...yes, but I'm astounded at how big their hearts were...how much they laughed and thought about things...we weren't backward or small minded. I could joke about rednecks, because that's what small towns produce. I won't say there weren't any, just no one I really hung around. I'm still friends with these people. My class and the class below me...packed full of great people. I'm just sitting here thinking of all of this due to the light that is in the sky. It just comes back...the memories and the gratitude. I got lucky. I really did. Will Z know how to really connect with texting and email and all the other shit out there? My friends wrote letters...and notes and were creative with expression. I'm worried. I really am.

If I could go back and be with my friends when we were younger...go to a football game or a track meet, I'd do it in a second. If I could walk into my gym, hearing the band playing and watch a basketball game...it would be blissful. We all supported each other. We were fans of one another. We laughed and cried and fell in love together. What a great way to spend your childhood.

I'm headed back to my small town in two weeks. I'll spend 2 wks in KS total. I know it's different. My town is not the same. My neice goes to school with mean girls. No one goes to games really. No one likes to be in clubs. No one supports each other. The town square is empty and kids drink a lot. What a shame. Do I blame technology? A little. They don't have to rely on each other for a good time. They have everything at their fingertips. Yes, we all had problems in our families...but, I really love that my friends were of substance. They still are. I miss them. I'll see some of them. I wish I could see them all.

Life has a way of taking all of different places...at least the start of the journey was solid.