Conrad and Coppola

I just finished Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse. Wow. Intense. Fierce. Exhausting. Taking Joseph Conrad's work," Heart of Darkness" and trying to overlay Vietnam...that's quite an undertaking. I read Conrad's novel in HS and it was difficult. It's too dark for me. I was too young to really understand it. Maybe I should listen to Orson Welles read it. He tried to make a film of it himself and gave up. He made Citizen Kane instead--I feel that worked out for him. The documentary did a number on me. It convinced me that I'm not a film maker who just didn't make films. If anything, I'll hold on to my inner script writer, but to direct...I don't believe I have it in me. OR....maybe I'm just focusing on EXTREME cases here. Kubrick and Coppola are fantastic, but they also make movies that I wouldn't make. I admire their wives. They stick by them through hellish shoots and years of craziness. And I get upset if Jason has a bad week and doesn't come to bed much. These women don't see their husbands for weeks on end. And, if they are about, their passion is given to the film--at least it would seem to me. I daydream about directing or writing something...or just to be involved in a film project, period. That seems to be a long shot at this point of my life. Just watching this doc and seeing the craziness and pushing people to the brink of death (literally in Martin Sheen's case) is too much for me. I'd like to see a documentary about the filming of Rachel Getting Married....or Lost in Translation. That would really be great to see. I am left feeling thick and heavy and just tired after seeing what all Coppola went through to make Apocalypse Now.  It's hard to imagine what that was really like. I see Martin in a brand new light. I wonder if Harvey Keitel has seen this doc. I find it so interesting to think of how a movie could have been had it had a different lead. He had Sheen's role, but Coppola fired him after a few weeks of shooting. That's another thing...the vision. Kubrick's vision really struck me as well. I marvel at visionaries. Visiting Hearst's castle also had me pondering visionaries as well. (this is for another post...)

I recommend the film if you love the movie. Or, even if you've never seen it. The creative process of film making isn't "seen" enough. The glitz and glam of it all can really overshadow how fucking hard it is to make these types of films. It's just impressive.