Freaking, but why??

Day 5 of having anxiety over...nothing. At least I can't figure out what it is. It will just come over me and I have to try to calm down. I think Z and I need to go to the park when she wakes up from her nap. I'll take a blanket and we can just listen to the birds or something. I will say that Father's Day causes a little anxiety for me. Trying to figure out what to send and such. My dad is an avid reader. I used to send books, but then we got him a Kindle. Now what? He's not a collector of anything. He hates junk. I now just get him eatable gifts. This year it's seasoned chicken for the grill from Omaha Steaks. I was going to get him steaks, but I figured the chicken was healthier. But, it will arrive late and that stresses me out. Insane. My dad isn't a lovey dovey guy. He's funny, smart and well read. He's not very emotional. He's not big on deep talks about emotions or anything connected to that sort of thing. He talks intelligently about things. He's a great conversationalist. Jason is much that way. J is emotional with me, but that's about it. He doesn't get into a lot of heart felt stuff with his family. He's easy going--he's the peacemaker. My father knows how to do most anything better than you do. (At least that's how I felt) There is always a better way to do this or that--and Jason will call me out if I do that to him. He calls me Barry when I am condescending in my tone and I call him by his mother's name when he won't let go of a topic and rides it to death.

But none of this has to do with my anxiety. Do I need a job? I love being home with Zoë, but I wonder if I'm slowly losing my mind or something. (This is something I've done before, so I'm tuned in...) I think I just need to focus on other things. We need to get out of the house and find distractions. Oh, the struggles of day to day life. I would love to know about others' issues with stress and anxiety. I want to know that other women who seem to have it all together are freaking out at times. It doesn't have to be depression sneaking in, right? It can just be being human. I need to look into yoga. It seems so calming. My left hip was replaced almost 5 years ago, so I'm not very bendy, but I could try. Okay, I'm going to go out to the front steps and try to meditate or something. I'll let you know how that goes.