A cool day in upstate New York. It's kind of refreshing. The neighbor invited Z and I over to play and again, I acted like a freak. Freak meaning I was kind of spacey and out of it. I feel like the new girl in school or something. It's really stupid. If Z is around, my brain is divided and I just can't think. The interesting part is with her. What's left is the small talk. (You know how I hate small talk.) But, then you deal with the people who will be uncomfortable if you start talking about something real. It's just frustrating.
At the gym, listening to Shirley, she made a good point about nature. She says she finds peace outside and it calms her; that it has a natural rhythm to it. It is what it is and humans are separate. The birds could care less what a nerd I am. The trees don't care if I've gained weight. It just continues to be...and I love that. We should learn more from it. Animals, for instance, don't think things through so much. They do what they have to do. When caught in a trap, they fight to get out. They fight for survival no matter what. They don't get depressive episodes and throw themselves in front of cars. They go on. They lose their babies, they have fear and worry...or apprehension. They starve and get cold. But, they just keep going. I think about that sometimes when I'm down. I haven't been that down in a long time, but it's always something to think about. We can't control anything outdoors. The wind...the rain...the heat. Although it can be destructive, for the most part it's a relief. Just to be outdoors and think, "whatever happens out here has nothing to do with me!" Ahhhh.
Blog title refers to this clip:
He is under the influence...he loves his rainbows!
No comments:
Post a Comment