Time to wake up.

I'm currently listening to Patti Smith's Just Kids. Her voice is monotone, but the story holds me. I have about 2 more hours to go. It blows my mind how different our lives are...and our minds. She is so rich with knowledge of art and music that I've never heard of. It makes me jot down names and has me researching and experiencing. Growing up in Small Town, KS, I was so sheltered. Wow. There was so much going on in the world that I had no idea about. Growing up in a city would have been so mind blowing. The small town kept me naive and young. It kept me so wide eyed and ridiculous. Growing up years after she did...TV ruled my life. Movies held my attention. Now, kids just gaze into a computer...or play video games. I hate to sound old, but it does seem technology is making me boring. She was so into painting, drawing and reading. She seemed to be so in tune with herself--or at least knew she had much exploration to do at a younger age. Her times in NYC...how she survived and how she created her own world with Robert is so interesting to me. I've always wanted to create my own space. I've done that to a point I guess. I feel a connection with her. Not because we have anything in common, but because it seems she lived out so many of my teen daydreams.

The book focuses on her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. Here's a pic...

My mom left early this morning. I drove her to the airport before light. I slept about 4 hours last night and crashed during Z's nap time. I guess an earthquake shook us, but I was snoozing. Yesterday I was exhausted as well. I think it was more a let down. I knew Mom was leaving and got the blues. Having her here was comfortable and safe. We watched The West Wing (she'd never seen it) and went to movies. I asked her tons of questions about her childhood and learned more about where she came from emotionally. So many questions that I've just asked her...at 36. Where the hell has my curiosity been?? That's amazing to me. I'm not sure my family feels so comfortable with my questions. Jason started to get fidgety. He's not so much into asking personal questions. I just want to understand where people are coming from. My mom spends a lot of time being silent...she thinks a lot. I just want to know what's going on in her head. Everyone is a mystery. In my life, my family is just a closed group. I'm an alien of some sort...ready to share and to meet new people. Most of my fam likes to keep to themselves. I've always had lots of friends and do my best to keep in touch with them--though I'm focusing more on uplifting souls instead of those who drag me down. I'm too easily drowning.

I feel like I need a shower...and a long, long sleep. Z is sweet and funny...she keeps bringing me Bambi to feed. I need to get her a toy bat. We have a bat that lives above our front door. She sleeps there during the day. Pretty cute little gal, really. For some reason, it makes me happy that she feels safe there.