bye, bye love.

It's Sunday. Mom left this morning. I was close to tears all morning. Not only will I miss her, but her leaving signifies that this "birth experience" is over. Sounds silly. Harper wasn't here...and then she was. It was a life altering event that won't be repeated and I'm just mourning it a bit. Bringing a baby home is just a special thing--magical almost.

Today I just want to sit in a hot bubble bath and be alone. It's probably due to just being a little down. I tend to retreat into myself. I self medicate by becoming unsocial. Stupid really.

Z has an eye infection and her eyes are seeping constantly. Great. Harper is snoring next to me. (She has small nasal passages and snores a lot--the doc says they will continue to get bigger as she does and her snores will be a thing of the past.) I should tape them to play for her first boyfriend.

Mandi comes on Thursday to save me from myself. I can't wait. She's never visited me where I've lived. It will be nice for her to see New York. 2 weeks earlier she would've seen some gorgeousness...now the trees are dead except a few. The snow needs to blanket it outside so we have more to look at.

I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. It's time to get back to reading books and blogging. I need to form another schedule for myself. I need to lose the last 10 lbs. (I lost 20 in a week--hello breastfeeding!!) I can't get sucked in by these blues. That won't be good for anyone.