Letting go.

Spring is here. The sun is out. It is warm. The trees are in bloom. It's gorgeous. My nerves are still a bit raw, but that's just me, I guess.

I'm still anxious. I need to learn to meditate. There are a lot of things I need to learn to do. Different times of life require different tools to get through them.

Deep breaths are good.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Cleaning.
Realizing that you are good, just the way you are.
Out with the bad, in with the good.

I struggle. I'm not as comfortable in my skin as I'd like to be. I feel good as a mom. I need some work as a wife, daughter and friend. I feel I'm trying. Honestly, I feel that I try when others do not. There are a few people in my life that just don't reach out much (like for several months or years) and I'm tired. I have abandonment issues. It is hard for me to let people slip away. I may just have to do that. I can't be the one the continues to reach out. They have to put in some work, too. There are plenty that do. This is a hard realization. We are all busy. It seems that the people that  continue to make you feel important as life goes on...are the ones that deserve that energy.

Maybe later, after I've rested--I will reach out again and see what happens. It could be that I'm just ignoring the signs--"uh...I'm okay that we don't talk anymore." Okay...then I'll be okay with it as well.