Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Fear is a BITCH

Z is 6 and seems to be struggling with anxiety. She has similar symptoms to me. She says her throat hurts and her chest hurts...and she's gone to the bathroom 3 times since we've been in Starbucks..20 mins. ??? Am I creating this in her? I'm not sure what is going on. I keep talking about when school starts. Maybe I'm freaking her out. She says she's worried about her reading...but she's doing great!! I feel awful for her.

I thought coming here and writing...getting her mind off of things, would be nice. Maybe I'll write questions in her new journal for her to answer. We'll see how it goes.

The pressure of grade school. I've probably added to it because of all she has to accomplish. I want to make sure she feels good about it...that she feels prepared. She so far ahead the curve, but she doesn't seem to believe me or care. She is such a perfectionist. Man, I'm not...not in that way. I can't start my damn play because I'm scared it will not come across as I want it to. And that I've waited too long. I know I have. It knocked, but I didn't answer. Fear sucks. Fear creates so much anxiety. It keeps us from doing things we know we can do. It makes us feel we are not prepared. Even if we are. I need to do what I always say I'm going to do. Be the change.

No comments: